I'm slowly freezing to death on an icy platform, ruefully nursing my lip. I've managed to bite my tongue twice, and my lip twice, all within 24 hours. What are the chances? If I survive this I'll probably continue to munch on my lip until it is the size of a beach ball.
Good job it is not the season for beach activities, otherwise I would be in huge trouble.
A little bit of ice on a tiny section of the train line and pretty much every train in Britain is delayed or cancelled. On the other hand, the only thing that would delay a train in Norway would be a thawed woolly mammoth, brought back to life by MickeysBigMouth as he develops his healing powers above and beyond fish.
The first train cancelled, the second train delayed and carrying everyone from the first train, the connecting train cancelled, and here I am, freezing to death while slowly becoming engulfed by my lip.
Of course, this is despite the fact that our rail fares have increased above the rate of inflation every year, and this year will increase by 6-8%. There's nothing like paying more for less.
Welcome to Britain. Don't come here. I'm thinking of taking the family to Norway. Morag, you're welcome to join us.
A Little Girl Feeding Some Baby Crocodiles, 1932
4 hours ago