I've always known I have a gift. Throughout my life things have just worked. In my presence babies stop crying, kitchens clean themselves and hamsters produce Oscar-winning performances.
I jest.
My wife S had a very difficult day with little baby R yesterday, who griped, pooed and wailed to her little heart's content for the whole day, for no apparent reason.
I normally do the night feed, but S asked that she could do the night feed on the condition that I looked after little R for the morning, allowing her to have a bit of space and to (cough cough) sort the flat out. For some reason the kitchen hadn't cleaned itself, neither had the bathroom. I was worried my powers were waning.
So S did the night feed, and I had a beautiful full night's sleep, my first in months.
This morning little R woke at 8:30 (pretty good for a baby, huh?), so I fed and changed her. We (me and R) spent a happy hour dozing and then I spent the rest of the morning "baby sitting" tucked up in bed with coffee, laptop and The Spectator, while little R snuggled and slept.
I clearly have a gift.
April 18, 1934: World’s First Washateria Opened
5 hours ago
5 comments:
Hello. You came thistle recommended to cheer me up. And you did.
Oh, you have a gift all right......
Yes, you do have a gift:).
Two questions:
1. How pissed does your wife get that you have this supernatural ability?
2. Did you put whiskey in the baby's breakfast?
Oh, that's just made me wish that I had babies again, instead of horrible, smelly, rude people who can talk back.
(Example: My eleven year old came up to me earlier after looking in my bathroom bin and seeing an empty face lotion box.
"Did you buy this Night Repair stuff?" she asked.
"Yes, I did, my darling. Why?"
"Hmm, it's got a lot of work to do on your face,"
We still snuggled tonight, but I couldn't help wishing she was a baby again and not a wretched hormone sarcasm machine.
Post a Comment