It was a horrible sticky evening at the end of a horrible sticky day. Some people love that kind of day. They see hot days as the bee's knees, the wasp's nipples* or even the hornet's eyebrows. I'm not so fond.
Don't get me wrong, I love the sun beating down on my face and nothing is as perfect as an ice-cold beer in the sun, except perhaps a good clean poo, but horrible sticky days make me feel horrible and sticky. Spending the day sweating like a Turkish wrestler is not my idea of fun.
I headed to our bedroom, persisting in the delusion that sleep would be possible if the window was open. How wrong I was. The room was stifling. I slipped into my birthday suit, slouched on the bed and opened my book. Minutes later my wife entered the room.
"A porn star would be jealous of that pose," she said.
It's nice to know that if developing financial software doesn't work out I have another career path available.
*Lifted from the great Douglas Adams.
P.S. I'd like to point you all to a fabulous article on tits written by an old friend of mine. Don't judge before you've read it...Pure brilliance!
Monday 1 June 2009
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66 comments:
Not sure I've ever seen a porn where the guy is reading a book the whole time...
BTW, wonderful link on tits!
It's always nice to have options.
Judge it? why would we judge it? *smirks*
That's exactly my kind of porn star...book in hand.
'sweating like a Turkish wrestler'
Now thats hot ;)
The difference between developing financial software and being a porn star in a nutshell is this:
Everyone thinks being a porn star would be glamorous and exciting but actually it's boring degrading and humdrum.
Everyone thinks developing financial software is boring degrading and humdrum.
And it is.
Good to know what else you can do, isn't it? Any other option? Singing? Strip tease?
The tits link was very ummm...insightful. Who knew there were so many different types of tits?
Oh, I am in total agreeance with you on those hot, sticky, muggy, humid...I could use a pair of gills to breath properly days. Loathe them entirely.
It's so sweet that she said that!
at least you have a backup career...and all for just lounging and reading!
Good to know you have back-up plan.
why do the two careers have to be mutually exclusive? hot sticky porn and software just sound like they belong together.
First rabbit, and now porn star... hm... I'm sensing a theme.
You develop financial software???
REALLY??
Well, we could have some long conversations. How well do you know accounting? Know anything about retail method? Would you consider immigrating to Podunk, Ohio?
I love Douglas Adams. So long, and thanks for all the fish.
Oh, and do I get props for not calling you Mo "Mad Dog" Foreskin, considering the title of this post?
It's always good to have something to fall back on should your first career choice fail. Porn+book = all good in my eyes!
Porn Stars slouch?
as long as the soft ware isn't your porn tools
I'm with you on the heat. I don't even have a basement to hide in since I live at sea level and it would just fill with water. Then again, having an indoor pool would be nice.
I'm not going near the whole bed porn star thing. I don't need that imagery in my head all day. I don't need it for any length of time. Nothing personal.
O.k., so lets see that portfolio! (I'm resisting the "sticky buns" jokes, at least until I've had my coffee)
Douglas Adams reference + moaning about the heat when we usually moan it's too cold + porn star pose = winning post.
You have cracked the secret formula.
Your wife sounds delightful. I think, if you haven't already, you should do a post introducing her to us.
Ah, so many wonderful images here. But we are having the same weatehr over here.
cold beer and a good clean poo....two of my favorite things as well
ha!
ps: did the neighbors get a peek at your porn star style through that open window????
What? No picture to prove it, Mo?
;-)
And that tits article was truly fabulous!
Ahhh ... a porn star. I think I could do that too! Since, you know, I keep getting caught in the buff.
Glad my husband isn't the only one who lounges in the nude.
Thank you for not using pictures in this post.
I have always known you could be a porn star.
Always.
It is good that you have your plan B all picked out!
I'm still having trouble wrapping my mind around a "clean" poo. Those words seem a bit mutually exclusive.
That's hot! It's always good to have options, should you ever decide to make a career change. Or, at the very least, you could freelance for some extra cash. Just a thought.
Book reading porn star sounds fine to me Mo...
...but a 'good clean poo'?
There's a misconception if ever I heard one :)
I have never known a male porn star not to sit up 'straight'. In fact, I think they might take a medication to make sure of it. :)
Aww, I saw the title of your post and dashed over here in high expectation of some titillating ... er, titillation ... and was a litttle bit disappointed that what I actually got was:
A) A "good clean poo" reference
B) Not a single accompanying pic with regards to the porn star pose!!
You, sir, are a tease!
is it really terrible to admit that i think a good clean poo is awesome also?
whatever. i'm sure i've now offended any and everyone with my politically incorrect posts, titles, and comments.
good to be consistent.
andy
p.s. now i'm going to read about tits.
p.p.s. and think about your porn star pose.
ugh, I don't like hot sticky days either...even worse, a naked hot sticky guy...or maybe not.
porn pose. Nice.
Wonderful wife! I'll have a talent scout call you.
LOL
You'd have to wax your ass, though.
It's the little things.
I'd like to slip into my birthday suit. . . perhaps with a new seamstress. . .
Oooh, you got me feeling all randy. I'm off to read about tits.
mo you stud! what were you reading, books on C++?
Heh. Tits.
Oh yeah and as if I didn't think you were awesome enough already you go and quote Douglas Adams.
: )
No photo with this post?
No AC?
Where's the picture??
I love summer, but as I age like a good cheddar, my tolerance of the heat wanes. Wow, that was almost poetic...
So, where's the picture???
"I for one am going to take a nice, clean poo and check out some tits," said my --okay, it was I. What? I'm only human.
hey, i sleep naked too...
we should get together sometime and sleep naked together..
wait, that came out wrong...
Awesome that your wife recognizes your talents! You are a lucky man!
I broke down and turned the A/C on Sunday afternoon. Sweating while just sitting and not doing anything is NOT acceptable in my book. You can probably see your breath in our house right now. Pure bliss!! :-)
I've never seen a porn star reading in the nude or otherwise
Hmmmmmm . . . literate porn. I am totally down with that.
And in these economic times, having a second career can me a lifesaver. So when will you start?
Somehow I don't believe I needed to read about how you might make it as a porn star at such an early part of the day...it's pre 5am...is this an indication of what Wednesday will be like? Holy crap....
What, no pictures? You tease!
Hey, it's a tough economy. Nice to know you have career options!
Pearl
I have to agree that sticky hot days suck. And that explains my whole childhood.
It's always good to have career options. Everyone should be multitalented! :)
I just recently found out that porn actors had to do a little acting. I thought they just, you know, did their thing.
I have also been known to assume the naked book reading position on hot nights.
Long experience has taught me not to slam the book.
Unless it's a paperback. Thats quite nice.
What?
Blimey, it was hot wasn't it?! I thought I was going to die on the tube over the past couple of days!
So, have you thought of any porn star DVD titles or even a name?! :D
Good clean poo. Reminds me of a conversation with my Daughter when she was about five.
Daughter - "Dad, where does poo come from"?
Me (being a clever twat), "well babes, food passes down the oesophagus by a process called peristalsis. It enters into the stomach where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal. This extracts the protein before waste product enters the colon. Water is asorbed whereupon it then enters the rectum finally to emerge as poo".
Daughter - "Blimey, so where does Tigger come from"?
To be honest that comment is far too good for your blog and should be a post on my own but since your the only fucker that reads mine, so be it. Maybe you can have a best comment post and use this and then direct people to mine?
As for porn star, I'm guessing, Ron Jeremy?
@ rubbish - lol!!!
AWESOME.
I also hate those sticky days, but hopefully you guys turned it around and made it a different kind of sticky, RAWR!
Options are always good !!
I'm not sure porn stars are ever depicted in repose. But - nice compliment from the missus, it sounds like.
I love days like that ... hot and sticky, but only when I get to come home to a nice cool air-conditioned apartment. GREENIES be damned!
Ahhh Porn a la The Thinker!!! Excellent!
How could I not come around to read this hilarity for the past weeks?! Honestly.... I was looking forward to moving to England for the lovely cool weather until I read this bit about sweating like a Turkish wrestler. ;)
Only five more weeks. You, me, the families and beer. Glorious beer! (See, I am trying to ween myself off the bourbon so I can fit in better over there.)
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