Monday, 4 May 2009

The celebrity crush

On Monday nights my wife and I watch Heroes. The last few weeks we've managed to catch the end of the preceding program, a Nigella Lawson extravaganza that I forget the name of.

On each occasion Nigella has been stuffing her cake-hole with some wild, abandoned feast of naughtiness, all the while dressed in a silky nightie. Note, there is not the slightest bit of mess, not a smidgen of chocolate down her nightie.

Last Monday we caught the end of the show again. For once Nigella wasn't wearing her customary nightie.

Me : "How odd, she's not wearing one of her nighties."

Wife : "Disappointed are you?"

Me : "Not at all, I'm just sayin'."

Wife : "She is wearing a remarkably tight top though."

Me : "It's nice."

Wife : "Ha! You have a celebrity crush on Nigella Lawson!"

Me : "No I don't, I just said it was 'nice'."

Wife : "Mo and Nigella sitting in a tree..."

My wife proceeds to mock me, I don't imagine she'll forget this quickly either. The things we men have to put up with. And for the record, I don't have a celebrity crush on Nigella.

P.S. A couple more awards have come my why, but I'll handle those during the week.

52 comments:

Eric said...

Goodness, Ms. Lawson is not a bad way to go for a celebrity crush if it has to be done.
A friend once had a crush on Giada de Laurentiis, which I can see. The pet name for her was pronounced 'G-hot-ah'. Dear God, she's eating chocolate!!! Rewind the clip of her eating chocolate again!!!

Girl Interrupted said...

Nigella is foxy, teasing, flirtatious, kitchen goddess, Mo ... who could blame you if you did?

Which celebrity does Mrs Mo have a crush on?

Scope said...

Worse crushes exist. Have you heard of Rachael Ray?

Shuddering and drooling at the same time is awkward.

Gaston Studio said...

I love your wife's attitude!

Courtney said...

I have a girl crush on Nigella...she is saucy!

Harmony said...

Who is your celebrity crush then?

Minka said...

I don't believe you, wives know, you see!

Audra said...

Nothing wrong with celebrity crushes, I get all warm and tingly for Jon Stewart and I have no shame.

Comedy Goddess said...

Nigella does Cooking Show Porn better than anyone.

Mr London Street said...

I loathe Nigella with a passion. She's an evil Tory witch with more rouge than Mr Punch and all the fakery of her homely kitchen (in a TV studio in a giant hanger in an industrial estate) and her rent-a-crowd pretend friends make me retch bile.

jpooh said...

Oh, I'm sure Mrs. Mo will get all a-twitter over some male celeb sometime in the near future, and you'll get your retribution.

Never heard of Nigella Lawson, being a heathen American, but Scope? Rachel Ray???? Egads, man - find an exorcist NOW.

blognut said...

Maybe it isn't Nigella, it's any celebrity in a silky nightie?

Count your blessings, anyway. At least your wife doesn't seem to mind.

Diane said...

I'm so glad you're not crushing on Nigella, as I'd have lost all respect for you. She makes me want to stick a fork in my eye.

andy said...

i used to have a thing for Captain Picard off Star Trek.

meh.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

What's a hot, red-blodded Brit to do with Nigella seductively devouring tasty morsels clad in nothing more than a wee nighty??

We couldn't blame you. Really

Call Me Cate said...

It could definitely be worse. You start finding Martha Stewart hot, we'll have to stage some sort of intervention.

Sassy Britches said...

Ah, your wife is such a good sport. If only we could curb you of your denial. ;P

Anna Russell said...

Of course you have a crush on Nigella, those boobies are splendifirous.

LiLu said...

Jason Bateman... now and forever.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Maybe should put on some Anthony Bourdain for your wife...even things up a bit.

the mama bird diaries said...

My husband definitely has a celebrity crush on Nigella Lawson.

C.B. Jones said...

*executes google image search*

She looks healthy, especially in the bosom region. O_O!

Mr. Condescending said...

Ive met rachael ray and she is ultra annoying! Ever seen the pictures in FHM magazine a few years ago? Her mom lives somewhat near me and the whole town hates her.

Captain Dumbass said...

Nigella does have some nice... spice racks.

Samsmama said...

My husband wants to bang Padma. I'd let him.

Cora said...

Please. That's nothing. I have had a celebrity crush on Yahoo Serious for 20 years.

Yeah.

Yahoo Serious.

Feel free to mock me starting.... NOW.

lizspin said...

Oh sweet Jesus! I must be old. . . or out of it. . . or just plain clueless. . . Niegell who????

Anyway, I couldn't pass by your blog without commenting anyway, so now you know I'm a fool!

Hit 40 said...

Yes - I love to pick on my hubby and my male student teacher. So fun!

How did she want you to answer? Damned if you do??

Maria Roth said...

There's nothing wrong with having a celebrity crush! I have many. I bet your wife has a few of her own. David Beckham, for one. Hahahhahaha! I know how much you like Beckham! ;)

Jeanne said...

Old Dog NEVER admits to finding women (other than me) attractive. And gets grouchy if I admire celebs....

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Celebrity crush? So that's what it's called.

Marinka said...

Although, to be fair, Nigella is a pretty sweet celeb crush. Except she has a funny accent.

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

I still love Nigella for making the moniker "Domestic Goddess" a household term (at least in MY household ;). She IS pretty tantalizing, too. You could definitely do worse, crush-wise.

Whoever said Rachel Ray? .... OUCH! That just wasn't very nice to the rest of us. :(

Scope said...

I appologize for mentioning Rachael Ray.

And when I first saw THIS picture of Nigella, I got very hungry fo an English Muffin.

bernthis said...

your wife has your number my friend

g said...

Don't watch Nigella, but there is something truly disturbing about your description of white silky nighties with chocolate smears upon them.

Girlfriend needs an apron.

I'm sticking with tacos.

Kylie w Warszawie said...

When a straight man comments on a woman's clothing it usually means that he was actually just staring at that part of her anatomy and trying to cover up for it. Not that it means that you have a crush on her. It very well could mean that you liked her "top".

At least that's how it's been in my 15 years of marriage.

Shawn said...

I am SO liking your wife! Bwahahaha!

Currently Untitled said...

for me, the words 'cake-hole' and 'wild, abandoned feast of naughtiness' just don't go together.

♥ Braja said...

Thank God I don't have television. It would just mean more arguments with my husband...

No really...

Sass said...

I have a million and five celebrity crushes. And my husband knows about ALMOST every single one of them.

ALMOST.

And Nigella could actually be one of them, given the way she handled some chicken drumsticks recently on Nigella Express...

I'm just sayin'.

sas said...

I've got a thing for Andrew Marr.

You can't help who you fancy.

Nej said...

I agree....worse crushes could be had. Much, much worse. :-)

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

You sure do have a crush, nananananaaaanaaaaa.

She's hot. I think I kind of like her myself...

Tooj said...

I created my husband's celebrity crush by pointing out her bust. Ever since then, he can't stop looking when she's on tv.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

A slice of gastro porn methinks

Merisi said...

May I suggest you buy a nightie just like Nigella's for your wife? ;-)

Congratulations on David's Post of the Day Award!

City Girl said...

The Nigella-like nightie is okay, just don't ask her to wear the wig.

Been there. Done that. Asked for the divorce.

Congrats on your "Post of the Day" award!
CG/CG

Cheffie-Mom said...

Congratulations on the Post of the Day Award from authorblog!

Debbie said...

I saw that David had plucked this post of your many wonderful ones for inclusion in his POTD. Congrats. I have some celeb crushes. Fortunately, Nigella is not one of them.

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