Friday, 13 March 2009

St. Cuthman's Red Wheelbarrow

If you've come here expecting my usual mindless drivel witty observational humour I'm afraid you will be disappointed. Last night I went to the opening night of the Sussex Beer Festival with two friends, Uncle Flicko and Erik the Viking.

I was hoping that the night would provide plenty of blogging material, but at the end of the day it was just Mad Dog, Uncle Flicko and Erik the Viking tasting exciting beers.

So instead, and I'm sure I'll regret this, I'm just going to tell you a nonsense story using the names of some of the beer names that we encountered. It is one hundred percent mindless drivel and I don't give a monkey's am truly sorry.

*****

The Legless Rambler was off rambling. He wasn't feeling well, a Skullsplitter of a headache and an encounter with Blarney Bear and a Mudpuppy had left him in a foul mood, grumbling that there was a Common Conspiracy to destroy his walk. "I don't feel well," he thought, "if only Dr. Hexter's Healer" was here. To make matters worse the shrill clucking of pheasants was driving him Hopping Mad. "I can't stand these Plucking Pheasants," he growled, "and this Blessed Thistle is so prickly". Out of the blue a Pontus Hebdanus suffering from March Madness stole his clothes. "Damn I have a Chilly Willy!" he exclaimed. A Wolf Whistle sounded out, and as he turned round he saw the Chocolate Rabbit standing there. "Yule be Sorry," he muttered. And then he died, crushed by St. Cuthman's Red Wheelbarrow.

The End.

*****

P.S. St Cuthman's Red Wheelbarrow is a dark red 10% beer, you may have seen it in my Twitter updates and it made this morning feel very early.

P.P.S. Many thanks to Minka and Pseudonymous High School Teacher who both kindly gave me a "When Life Hands You Lemons" award, I'm really grateful and will try and do the appropriate followup over the weekend.

22 comments:

Cowguy said...

Just drinking with someone named Uncle Flicko has gotta be worth every bit of headache you own afterwards.

Stacie said...

hmmmmm beeerrr...

sounds like a good time!

Call Me Cate said...

Excellent use of bizarre beer names. I took a pic of a sign at a bar last week because they had "Dead Guy Ale" and "Arrogant Bastard Ale" and a bunch of others that all cracked me up.

Cathy said...

pretty good drivel considering the state you were in when you wrote it. :)

Snarky A. said...

Love beer.

Clearly, I need to get to a beer tasting pronto, because that sounds freaking great!

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Well that was pretty awesome for random drivel! : )

Debbie said...

It's a fun story. And congrats on your awards.

Diane said...

'Skullsplitter'... awesome name for a beer. I bet you had a Chilly Willy the day you dropped your shorts at the pool, eh? ;)

And no, there's no chance Troll-Guy could read my blog. Since he doesn't know I have a blog. And I'd never let him into my life to that degree. He doesn't know where I live either. 'Cause I'm not stupid.

Minka said...

My sweetheart actually bought me two things on the 8th March (Women's Day): a small box of chocolates (the kind I like) and a bottle of beer (Budweiser). You can believe I was surprised. My kids laughed about it, but I have to admit it was a good choice. As funny as it looked, I loved both.

Gwen said...

As awesome as this is, and IT IS, I'd rather have heard straight from the drunken horse's mouth last night. ;)

bernthis said...

now try doing that with the names of every diet soda known to man

Nikki-ann said...

I like discovering new drinks :D It sounds like you do too! Great names!

The Girl Next Door said...

Awesome. Now I think I'll go break my Lenten Promise (no alcohol =- what the heck was I thinking?!)

on and my word vert? fatis. Fat is what I will be after my keg o' beers tonight...

Asphodel said...

Wow... yesterday was the only day I had beer legally available and I didnt have a pint, would you believe it? There was too much of a crowd, and beer would mean too many bathroom queues ....

Asphodel said...

I live in Kuwait.... there aint no bars or clubs or pubs... the only place you get to party is the embassy, and thats only if your lucky to get an invite.....


Its not as dire as it sounds, stuff is available but for like 130dollars for the real thing and 20 dollars for home brew.... Come to think of it, maybe shouldnt have bloged about it :-|

Comedy Goddess said...

There was a bar in town that I used to frequent which prided itself on its world beer collection available. Your post reminds me of a great resource out now gone. Sigh.

Such a great idea, to bring back when I win Powerball!

Sass said...

That was brilliant, of course.

Vodka Mom said...

I caught a little buzz after reading this post.

ha

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

So, I'm thinking a beer named Chilly Willy is not a big seller.

Nej said...

Plucking Pheasants. I'm not a beer drinker (gasp) but would definitely have to try that one! :-)

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