Monday, 30 March 2009

The Nothing Box

I bought myself a coffee this morning while waiting for my train. I was thinking about life, the universe, everything and in particular, the nothing box.

"What are you thinking about?" asked my wife yesterday.

"Nothing," I replied.

"You can't be thinking about nothing," she said.

Truth is I was and I do. This state is known as 'the nothing box'. It is where men go when we are zonked and are literally not thinking about anything. Having thought about the nothing box I then got into the nothing box and wandered down to my train. At least, I assume I wandered down to my train as I found myself on the train, but I don't remember the wandering bit.

The train pulled away from the station. I blinked for a moment. Something was missing. I had paid for my coffee but left it at the booth. £1.60 down the drain.

Damn that nothing box.

44 comments:

lizspin said...

I'd say something really witty here about the women being the superior sex, but I've got nothin'.

Do women have a nothing box also???

Diane said...

I live in the nothing box. I holiday away from it every now and then... but most days? Home.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I definitely have a nothing box. Just ask anyone who knows me.

And I think it should be capitalized. Nothing Box. Because it is, indeed, a land. And a place I love.

Comedy Goddess said...

Which begs that timeless Zen question: What is the sound of paid for forgotten coffee left behind in its own nothing box?

Nikki said...

The Nothing Box isn't gender biased. I reside there almost always. In fact, I am in the nothing box right now.

blognut said...

Diane totally hijacked my comment. I live in the nothing box, too. In fact, she's my neighbor.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I was going to be jealous of the nothing box, which apparently I am not allowed in because I have the joy of a chatty mind. But if it causes perfectly good coffee to be left behind it does have its drawbacks.

Soda and Candy said...

Child, please. You think the nothing box is exclusive to the Y chromosome? I've walked away from ATMs with money literally hanging from them and my card poking out.

Shana said...

No drinking of Guiness at the Guinness Museum as it was the Guinness World Record Museum although there was a display about the most beer drinking. (and the most navel pluff!)

I have a nothing box.


Damn, what was I saying?

Nikki-ann said...

This subject was touched upon during Ed Byrne's stint on Live at the Apollo shown on Friday night. :D

Call Me Cate said...

My husband is almost always in the Nothing Box when he's not in the Work Box. Or the Money Box. But to forget your coffee? That's just wrong, regardless of the reason.

dizzblnd said...

I love the video that explains the whole thing!

Sorry about you coffee that sucks!

Minka said...

I absolutely understand yo. I came home the other day, not without my wallet, not without my umbrella or pencil-case, no I forgot the whole bag at school. It weighs... a lot... it's quite big, but I managed to leave it there. Because I was thinking about...what was t now... nothing? Could be.

jpooh said...

I have a very large Nothing Box of my own.

However, I always thought for a man, the Nothing Box was usually at least occupied by sex.

Stacie said...

sometimes you men spend way too much time in the "nothing box"

and not enough time in my box.

oh wait, that's not what I meant...

ugh, wish my mind would think about nothing for a change.

Anna Russell said...

Women have no nothing box. I wish we did, but we don't, so the concept is kind of hard for us to get our heads around.

Correct answer: "I was thinking about how you're still as beautiful as you were the day I met you".

Cora said...

I'm utterly jealous of the nothing box. *pout* Where can I buy one? It sounds soooo relaxing.

cactus petunia said...

I'm crawling into mine right now. Before my brain fires up and gets me into trouble. (could you put the lid on for me, please?)

Gwen said...

I had a nothing box but people keep leaving suggestions in it like "Pay attention, you gobsnot!."

C.B. Jones said...

I once sprained my ankle because of the nothing box. I jumped in and the next thing I know, I'm in the middle of the street wearing somebody else's clothes.

Phat Mama said...

LOL, Soda & Candy! I've done that too.

My nothing box is so evolved that while I'm in it, my husband and kids can talk to me for 5-10 minutes before I hear them.

rubbish said...

Yo Mo,
I sometimes find myself sitting in my office and I think "fuck, I don't remember getting into work" and I drive in!!! My Ka must be a nothing box in disguise.

Mama Dawg said...

I did that at the gas station once. Paid $5 in gas and drove off w/out pumping it. Gah....

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I fancy having a nothing box day. I would wear pajamas, I think.

The Girl Next Door said...

thank you for sharing yet another Sex-sacred Secret. "Nothing" exists. We heard it here first.

blognut said...

Here's the deal, Mo. It's 9:54pm my time right now. Check the timestamp on my comment, and we'll have a clear understanding of the time difference.

We're going to go with midnight Cate's time, 11 pm my time, I think.

blognut said...

Oh God! I don't know any more than I did before. Ha!

The Mister said...

More Guide references... I love it!

the mama bird diaries said...

I feel enlightened. Like I understand my husband just a bit more.

The Gnu said...

i traded in my nothing box for an incredibly short attention span. so far, they both suck.

Kylie w Warszawie said...

I do a lot of wandering without remembering it myself. But I'm not thinking about nothing. I'm usually thinking about something so interesting that the outside world disappears. Unfortunately I am unable to invite others into my interesting place.

Vodka Mom said...

my box has, well, i'd rather now talk about my box. Thanks to three kids and a rather botched hysterectomy, it's not pretty.


xoxox

Cowguy said...

You pegged it, and it's true. The nothing box is real. I stumble through a good portion of my day trying to get outta the thing.

Asphodel said...

If anyone sees a nothing box for sale, please let me know!


Hah I see your an Adams fan, if you know anything else similar to his writing (besides your blog) lemme know Mo.

Captain Dumbass said...

The nothing box. It's the man room we take everywhere.

Sassy Britches said...

I have always envied (and occasionally cursed) men and their nothing boxes. Maaayybe I've visited a box a time or two, but I certainly don't have one of my own. That would be a luxury.

Harmony said...

New to the blog *waves* Hi!

I am a frequent visitor of The Nothing Box, where everything and nothing all coexist in perfect harmony (I hate having to use my name as a word..gah!). Words are hard to come by, when explaining the thought process involved in being in The Nothing Box...because otherwise, you were never really there at all.

Great post...glad to have found you.

Slyde said...

that sounds familiar... my wife often asks me what im thinking about, and geniunely gets mad when she doesnt like the answer..

ModernMom said...

Well I'm glad to hear my hubby is not the only man who claims he is thinking about nothing! I was sure it was a lie!

Tooj said...

I've been in the nothing box. I'm not really sure my husband would understand it...roles must be reversed for you and I and our households.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Now I know. When my husband comes home from school without our preschooler, I'll blame The Nothing Box.

Maria Roth said...

I've ventured into the Nothing Box on occasion. But the second someone asks me what I'm thinking about, the honest answer is NEVER "nothing."

Nej said...

D*mn that nothing box. Another coffee bites the dust! :-)

Sass said...

My husband actually gets so irritated with me when he asks me, "Whatcha thinkin'?" And I say..."nothing."

I would argue that women do, in fact, have a nothing box.

Or at least, this woman does.

As I have quite a few new readers since I became a "Jelly Biter" I've put this up here again. To understand the context you must read this post!