It was 3AM. We were in the twin room. My wife was in dreamland a few feet away, I was propped up on about seventeen pillows, snuffling like a pig. Nine hours on the road had done nothing for my cold. Knowing how irritating it can be sharing a room with a snuffling pig, squirming constantly to get comfortable, I had spent the past five hours diligently keeping still.
A cockerel crowed. At 3AM for goodness' sake. I could have done with a gun. My eyes wandered lazily around the room, the only possible weapon was my electric toothbrush. I could teach that half-wit cockerel a valuable lesson with an electric toothbrush.
Vroom, vroom, vroom!
#Squawk!#Peck!#
Vroom, vroom, vroom! Wuhahahahaha...
Unfortunately the damn thing was probably half a mile away. Uncomfortable, I shifted my position slightly.
"Stop wiggling, wiggling," snapped my wife, who was asleep and swears she doesn't remember this.
"What did you say?" I asked, knowing full well what she said but playing along.
"Wiggling!" she replied vehemently.
For the record I wasn't wiggling, and I certainly wasn't wiggling, at the very most I had conducted a half-wriggle.
I ignored her and focused on the cockerel. Maybe I could conjure up some flying tarpaulin (see last post), or better still a pack of wolves. Or even better, a motley croud of cruel children, armed with electric toothbrushes and peashooters.
Vroom, vroom, vroom! Pop! Thwack!
#Squawk!#Peck!#Flap!#Squawk!#Peck!#Flap!#
Wuhahahaha. I would make a great wizard.
Monday, 13 April 2009
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42 comments:
I resorted to sleeping with my 2 year old in her bed because I was coughing and wiggling too much in my bed and keeping the Mr. awake and he has to get up at 5am for work. Thankfully the 2 year old sleeps like the dead.
I have been coughing my brains out for two solid weeks. My husband sleeps so soundly, he luckily never notices.
Ugh.
Here on the ranch, we wake to the sound of roosters, er... cockerels? every morning.
The first couple of years, I fantasized about wringing each and every one of their necks - now, I've got my sights set on the Peacock.
Yeah. I think you were wiggling. Totally.
Why don't you set our cockerel for seven a.m. or something? No need to be violent, is there?
:D
Oooops, I meant Your cockerel... of course... it was a typo, sorry
You were too.
Electric razors work great when guarding sleep as well. Just try it. You'll see.
Nothing says "making do" quite like twin beds.
Never actually thought of using an electric toothbrush in such a manner, but I will now.
Remind me not to get on your bad side. Electric toothbrushes are dangerous! Hope you feel better soon - I'm feeling like crud myself.
No one wants a 'fowl' 'brush' with Mo Stoneskin, wizard extraordinaire...
I believe you were wiggling. Your wife was right.
You were snuffling like a pig, too.
Well, I agree that you'd make a great wizard, but I think you need to rethink your choice of weapons. Unless you're talking about a MAGIC electric toothbrush. "Mad Dog Wiggler": that's your wizard name (sort of like Mad Eye Moody from "Harry Potter"). :)
I am impressed how you keep yourself entertained. Me? I'd be crying by that point in my misery! I woke up to cokerels every morning of my life, and I can't stand the buggers.
I love sleep talkers...
Hope you are feeling better soon.
*omits cock joke*
It sounds to me like you squiggled rather than wiggled. Which is a totally different thing.
aw, you poor thing. How selfless of you to sit there awake trying to not to "wiggle" so your wife could sleep.
And you would make a fantastic wizard.
I'm laughing at the word cockeral.
death by electric toothbrush, that would be interesting.
Mo the Wiggling Wizard! :D
Snuffles create wiggle-like bed movements. There's just no getting around it. :-(
You couldn't have gone to the couch where you would have been free to do whatever you wanted in the way of wiggling and snuffling? :)
Good God even I could hear you!
Or
Poor baby, up all night being courteous while horribly sick, tormented by a lunatic cockerel (which I suppose is some kind of Britishism for a variety of bird) There there hope you are feeling better spit spat!
You choose which comment you like.
Are there hallucinogens in cold remedy medicines?
Ps: Had TWO creme eggs today :P
Wiggling, wiggling?
eh, sounds like an instant pop radio hit(or something you'd find on Playboy TV).
I will never look at an electric toothbrush in quite the same way again.
Vroom, vroom, vroom.
;-)
This, my friend, is why I sleep in my college-aged-daughter's bedroom every chance I get.
I - too - am wiggley.
Liar, liar, cockerels on fire.
Just checking your time stamp so I can do a little math. It was off last time - did you fix it?
And, you were TOO wiggling!
I always catch these horrible coughs and it is maddening for my poor husband.
It was the coughing always did my Ex in - when I get sick, I get the nastiest cough ever. Keeps the whole darned house awake. So go ahead and wiggle - we know you want to anyway...
What's a cockerel? Sheesh, it's like you're in a whole other country.
My mucous definitely outsnuffles your mucous, I guarantee it.
And I'm a wiggler. I admit it. Come on over to the dark side.
what motor do you have in your toothbrush?! sounds like a motorbike. and nice creative spelling on crowd.
from the Gnu
p.s. you were too wiggling!
I find I can't get to sleep without a damn good wiggle beforehand..
If it's any comfort, my spring allergies have me snuffling and wiggling all night long as well.
Misery loves company - shall I get out my electric toothbrush? No cockerel's here, just a psychotic robin with a penchant for dive bombing bedroom windows.
How miserable to try to sleep with a stuffed up head and to not move. I always flop around like a fish when I'm sick, just trying to find a comfortable spot.
Electric toothbrush - great idea. Hope you're feeling better soon!
I had that same cold last week. Hope you didn't get it from my blog! And the visions of crowing cockerels at 3 AM? I had similar nightmares involving pigs wandering through the bedroom...I chalked it up to the cold medicine I was guzzling, but my husband suggested it was just my snoring.
I certainly wasn't wiggling either.
sleeping with my kid is like sleeping with your dog. she literally takes ove rhte entire things and it drives me nuts
What color would your cape be? Would you wear a tall hat like Dumbledore? Sorry, I'm in a Harry Potter mood today.
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